Through my study of native feminism theories, I understand better how gender, race, class, and indigenous identities molded my family.  I have always viewed my grandma as the matriarchal force that has shaped my family and our values. I began to understand my grandma's story in the context of the oppressive society she grew up in. In some ways she resisted and in others, she internalized those experiences.

   Settler colonialism is the oppression of native cultures and peoples. It allows colonizers to build structures that keep them permanently in control of the land and those who live on it. It thrives on devaluing and attempting to erase "other" identities.

   My grandma grew up in the 1940's and 50's where racism heavily dictated her experiences. She grew up believing she was "less than" because of her dark skin and Indian features. She carried this negative self-image throughout her whole life and apologized for the Indian traits we inherited. However, she felt great pride in her Mexican identity as she resisted American idealization. 

   There was a great push on both sides of my family to assimilate, for example, not teaching our native language to younger generations so they wouldn't struggle in school. Elena was pushed to name her children English names. She was also forced to change her name to Helen instead of Elena.